Decoding Suicides in students preparing for competitive exams and higher education:Causes and Solutions

The recent spate of suicides by students in Kota, Rajasthan, has sent shockwaves across the country and ignited a debate on why this is happening. A closer look at the situation reveals that the students are under tremendous pressure to perform, while they are unable to cope with the expectations of their families and the society at large. It is important to understand the underlying causes of these suicides and to put in place measures to ensure that such tragedies do not recur in the future. We need to come up with strategies that will help students to cope better with their academic and personal challenges and to ensure that their mental health is taken care of. This article will take an in-depth look at the causes of the Kota suicides and suggest possible solutions.

Some Facts about the  three suicides  in Kota recently

There were two students from Bihar, ages 17 and 18, living near each other in a PG and attending the same coaching classes. Both were studying for different entrance exams, one for medical and the other for IIT. The two students kept in close contact with their families, talking to them and their parents daily. The night before their death, the two students had met, and both were found to have died from hanging. Neither of them was doing well in their exams or attending classes. A third student from Madhya Pradesh studying for NEET consumed poison after having a conversation with their parents and eating his dinner.

Causes of suicides among students studying in Kota coaching classes

The recent spate of suicides in Kota, Rajasthan, has put the spotlight on the mental health of students. Many parents and students have raised concerns about the level of stress faced by students and the general lack of assistance for students dealing with mental health issues. The media has also speculated about the academic pressure faced by students and the high fees charged by private coaching institutions. This article takes a closer look at the possible causes of the Kota suicides and suggests possible solutions to address them. 

a. Academic pressure

Students often feel that they are not able to cope with the academic pressure and the expectations that are on them. They feel that they need to perform well in their examinations and often feel that they are not able to achieve this. This can lead to a sense of failure and frustration, and put pressure on the students to improve their performance. People also often compare their performance with others and may expect others to perform poorly and be judgmental about other’s academic performance. This can also put pressure on students and make them feel as though they are not able to live up to their own expectations or the expectations of others. Students may also be sensitive to social judgment about their performance. They may feel that their classmates and others in the society may judge them for performing poorly and expect them to perform better in their next examination. This may put pressure on students and make them feel that they have to live up to the expectations of others and perform better.

b. Financial constraints

Parents often have to take loans and take money from their relatives and friends to be able to afford the tutoring fees in Kota. They are also expected to bear the expenses related to their travel and food. This may put students under a lot of stress and add to their problems of academic performance.Some students may have to travel to Kota from other parts of the country, leaving their homes and their parents behind. This can add to their feelings of stress and anxiety, and make them feel a lack of support from their parents. As a result of the removal of parental supervision, students are more left alone. Living in close quarters with other similarly-placed students who are in a cutthroat competition with one another academically is a recipe for disaster. They are struggling emotionally and are looking for support from others, but all they can find are rivals.

Coaching Classes like these are like psychological pressure cookers just waiting to blow.

c. Lack of emotional support

Involvement of Mirror Imaging in 2 Student Deaths in Bihar. One got depressed, while the other shared his reactions and feelings. The already heavy depression was amplified, and so were the ramifications of any terrible decisions made. To the contrary, they were mutually reinforcing each other's destructive behavior rather than pulling them out of the despair.

Many Kota students feel that they have no one to turn to in their moments of crisis. They may feel that they are too ashamed to share their feelings with their parents and may have difficulty in sharing their feelings with their friends and relatives. This can increase their feelings of isolation and make them more prone to suicide. 

Sometimes, students will place unreasonable expectations on themselves and then be harsh on them when they fall short of those benchmarks.

Some students are more sociable than others and, as a result, have a greater need for regular social interaction; however, due to intense competition and demanding time commitments, these students often find themselves isolated.

Students were excessively hard on themselves for not performing well in class and could not accept failure as an option.

In addition, their parents' negative comments reinforced their sense of doom, so they couldn't think about anything but the exam.

d. Warning signs of suicide

Altered conduct: Both became absentee due to stress and depression brought on by the intensity of the competition. They were attempting to escape confrontation with their classmates by running away.Withdrawal is the primary symptom of depression,as a result, we had fewer interactions with other people.When combined with the other friend's already-present depression, this was a recipe for disaster.

Impact of suicides on society

The media reports of suicides in Kota have led to people questioning whether coaching centres are in any way responsible for the tragic deaths. Some parents have also expressed concerns about the high fees that these coaching centres charge, as well as the general pressure that their children face to perform in their examinations. There have also been reports that coaching centres may have taken advantage of the desperation of students by asking them to pay extra money and to take loans to pay the tutoring fees. While the reasons for the Kota suicides may be different from person to person, the fact that this is happening in a significant number of cases cannot be denied. Therefore, it is important for the authorities to understand the underlying causes of these suicides and to put in place measures to ensure that such tragedies do not recur in the future.

Solutions to reduce suicides among students

One way to reduce the number of suicides among students in Kota is to improve the learning environment. This can be done by reducing the number of students in a class, providing adequate space for students to think and reflect, and allowing students to take periodic breaks from their studies. It is important that parents and teachers be more aware of the signs of mental health issues and help students manage their stress better. Mental health issues affect a person’s ability to think clearly and make decisions, and can develop into a serious condition if left untreated. Mental health awareness programmes can be conducted regularly  in coaching classes to help students become more aware of mental health issues, know how to deal with them and seek professional help if needed. 

Message for Parents 

If your child is residing at a hostel, it is imperative that you keep a close eye on them and pay frequent visits. Students' capabilities must be recognised and respected, and they must not be pushed beyond their limits. If a student is struggling academically, parents should avoid making any disparaging comments to them. Pay more attention to the steps taken to prepare for the exam and reward that instead of the total result. Rather than viewing failures negatively, try viewing them as learning opportunities. It is important to integrate mindfulness training into their routine study routine.

In case your planned career path doesn't work out, know that there is always another option that will not always lead to a worse future.

How does failure kick you in the butt in order to achieve your goals?

The need to associate only good feelings with our heroes is innate in us.

As a result, our heroes have taken on a life of their own. We don't want our favourite athletes to engage in doping or other unethical behaviour. We don't want our humanitarian or political heroes to be embroiled in sleazy scandals or illegal behaviour.. Our heroes in science should avoid the greatest of all scientific sins: admitting that they were mistaken.

When they fail to match our expectations, we feel justified in criticising them.

We think they're entitled to this humiliation.

Because of their failures, those who backed them in the past have always been questioned by history.

When people establish unrealistically high expectations for themselves, they react by judging themselves harshly for even the slightest accomplishments, such as proving a point in politics or winning an argument. They wind themselves in bitter arguments and ruminating for days about it for no good reason.

Rather than being a solo undertaking, living is an experience shared with millions of other people throughout the world. When you get it wrong, it's not a death sentence, but rather a springboard for more achievement.

The adage "once a failure, always a failure" is simply not true. Some of history's biggest failures were followed by a success that no one could have imagined, even our greatest heroes.

Despite this, we persist in our pursuit of perfection and accuracy as our two closest allies on the road to greatness. Is it true that failure weakens our thinking? Is it possible that by embracing failure, we are making the other person less driven and callous? People who believe that being severe on failure is a good approach to spur growth will be relieved if that response is yes.

Failure is a scientific fact

An MRI study by the University of Southern California and a team of international researchers has found that failure may be turned into a good experience by the brain if it chose to learn from its mistakes. 2.

Researchers have known for years that our brains learn in two different ways.

Avoidance learning is the practise of teaching children to avoid making the same mistakes again by punishing or condemning them when they make mistakes.

The reward-based learning approach is less common, but it works by rewarding the neurons in the brain each time they arrive at the correct response and rewiring their connections in the process.

Redefining mechanisms are activated in instances where there is enough information to assess and analyse the options, rather than defaulting to avoidance.

The finding of a brain region that makes you ponder if you've made a mistake and whether you've been urged to learn, take things in stride, and work on your mistakes was made by Oxford University scientists.

There are a dozen smaller areas in this part of the brain based on scans from 25 men and women. Afterward, the brain scans were compared to those of monkeys.

Incredibly, the brains of the macaque monkey and humans were found to be very different, even though they are our closest cousins. Why we are so good at working with our species and growing to a stage that no other species has even come close to reaching is most likely explained by this fact.

Among the 12 sections of the network, 11 were present in both humans and monkeys, and they were related to other parts of the brain in similar ways.

However, the macaques lacked the lateral frontal pole prefrontal cortex, which is one of our closest relatives.

It's not the first time the brains of humans and monkeys have diverged, but this is the first time a shift this pronounced has been discovered in the region responsible for the ability to change one's mind.

Rather than dwelling on what we could have done differently in other portions of the brain, this new region muses on what we may have done in the first place.

Basically, the lateral frontal pole is like a spouse who is always ready to tell you how easy it would have been to get it right if you'd just listened. To ensure that you don't do it again, the voice of authority advises you to retire to your room and ponder the consequences of your actions...

As a result, failing serves as a catalyst for growth in these areas. There would be no stress if the brain were not distracted by the negative feedback loops, which in turn stimulate our emotional brain (the amygdala). The rumination and disappointment that follow failure are caused by this self-judgement or criticism from others.

There are two equally sized areas in the prefrontal cortex, one of which Antoine Bechara, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Southern California, believes is the source of our fear of failure and our desire for achievement. The argument between risk and reward arises in this context, he explains. These areas interact during the decision-making process in a way that is reminiscent of the devil and the angel sitting on our shoulders. This is a winner-takes-all situation. The conclusion of the debate, therefore, has a significant impact on our reactions. In the event that our previous failures have permanently etched their unfavourable impressions on our brains, there isn't much we can do to reverse the process.

4.    Endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin are released in our brains when we achieve accomplishment, which encourages us to continue the activity.

Failure causes our bodies to release cortisol, which causes us to feel rejected and unsafe.

Repetitive patterns of neural activity and brain regions connected with stress have been found in neuroimaging investigations. Scan results show a decrease in activity in the higher, reflecting brains at times of acute stress. Emotional and behavioural reactions are influenced by increased activity in the lower, reactive brain. Reactive networks in the lower brain get more dense and faster, while prefrontal cortex conscious control centres become less connected to each other.

It's better to rewire your brain to grow acclimated to the sense of success than to expect failure, because concentrating on outcomes can strengthen and autonomous neural networks. It is because of this that we react to failure before we are even aware of it. It's easy to remember how many times you've had that sinking feeling before the results are announced.

It is possible to use failure as a springboard to reevaluate our approach and turn adversity into opportunity.

Basically, there are two types of mindsets: one that pushes for perfection and the other that expects it. In order to achieve perfection, one must be willing to recognise that mistakes are a part of the process.

In contrast, we know that perfection is nearly impossible, thus demanding it might lead to a lot of terrible experiences.

Emotional exhaustion and burnout can occur in those who believe that failure is not an option, or who place an unrealistic standard of perfection on themselves and are emotionally exhausted all the time because nothing they do is good enough.

Checking in on the facts

It's an ancient saying that "failure is a good teacher," yet most of us, deep down, believe that 'errorless learning' is better. Failure is no longer an option in today's fast-paced environment. It is widely accepted that if educators, managers, and parents encourage failure, it will lead to a negative future for the person who fails. Some people end up producing a horrible experience because they think they won't do it again.

Suicides and mental health issues in schools and universities are on the rise. This isn't only a problem in the United States; it's a worldwide phenomena. Burnout at work and the desire to change jobs every day is nothing more than an attempt to live up to one's own unrealistic ideals. Boredom is the most frequent disease of the previous decade, and it is simply the human brain's way of expressing "enough" to itself.

Do you have any ideas?

If you're passionate about what you do, failure will sound like a beautiful melody. It will inspire you to keep going.

Set goals that give you "regular acknowledgment feedback of incremental success." Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that promotes motivation, curiosity, perseverance, and memory when it is released by achieving these goals."

If you genuinely want to succeed, you may re-wire your brain's expectations so that your efforts will generate improvement even as the issue grows more difficult. Now is not the time to put yourself through something you don't want to do, like dieting, climbing stadium stairs, or flossing after every meal because you feel like you should. Select a goal that you will like both on the way and at the end of the journey."

Remember that there is a silver lining to stress. It's a good idea to write down all of the things that are stressing you out when you're feeling overwhelmed. Make a list of the things you can control and the things you can't manage, and then choose one of the things you can control and come up with a tiny, tangible measure you can take to lessen that one thing. Your brain can be nudged in the right direction by doing this.

It'Is a good idea to learn how to give constructive feedback to those around you. Your husband or child will be surprised when you compliment them on their blunders. A cascade effect on your approach to failure will be the result of this change.

CCreating a Growth Machine from Failure

After putting in so much effort, it is difficult to have an optimistic outlook, especially if we fail. Changing one's view of failure is a long-term process. We need to rewire our brains in order to break the automation that has been built up in our minds. It's better to look at a broken relationship or a lacklustre performance as a chance to learn rather than dwell on the repercussions.

Learning and dealing with failure should be integrated into the education system, so that we are prepared and learn how to trigger the gamma waves in our brains from an early age. We can become more resilient and successful if we learn to respond rather than react to failure.

Next time we encounter failure, let's remember that "Leaders who have developed a development storey have befriended their worst fear, "Failure," and made them their escorts to drive their success waggon. "

Suicide video from Kandivali-The lessons learnt

 A class ninth student of Gundecha Education Academy  at Kandivili ended her life by jumping from top floor of her building. Cause is unknown. We are no one to judge her or her family or the circumstances. Family is at loss and so  is she. The video of the suicide has been widely shared on social media and parents like in most suicide cases are unaware of the situation. The danger of the suicide video being seen by the children is one of the irony which most of the parents sharing the video are unaware.

I have jotted down some of the facts and remedies which parents can intervene and prevent such events from happening.

1. A child is prone to depression much more than adults.

2.Till the age of 18, a child can be prone to mental illness , disorders and depression.

3.  If a child is showing any kinds of withdrawals , sitting quiet for a long time, dreaming , sudden loss of attention span, too many distractions and not interested in anything, temper tantrums, bouts of anger or crying too easily on petty things , please sit with the child.

4.  Take leave from work, go for a vacation. Leave everything and talk to him or her. No need to ask her why is she sad or aloof. Just discuss general things to encourage her to open up. Assure that you are there whatever happens.

5.   

Don’t ask your child to adjust too much to any changes in life. Everyone has a level of adaptability. Let it happen at its pace.

6.    No academics is important than your child’s mental and physical health.

7.  No comparing the child with others rather compare with herself/himself. Eg. When you did that test / sang a song/ played  well last time, we were more happy.

8. 

Children should play till the age they want to. Play is stress busters. Physical exercise is also a stress buster. If they don’t get a chance to play due to less kids or weather, enroll them in some hobby class or pursue a sport.

9.  If they like to dance and sing they should do that everyday.

10.    Please don’t burden them with school homework , tuition homework and external classes homework. Thinking will be limited.

11.    Talk about everything that we converse at home appropriately as per their level. Let them be aware of life's dealings.

12.  Listen to them too. If they don’t want tuitions / studies for a day or two, pls give them that break. Explain the consequences of that break. Don’t warn.

13.   Allow and encourage them to befriend  like minded kids . Let them meet their friends sometimes under supervision. Talk about their friends and their family. Allow child to gauge the nature of her friends so that she or he knows to judge correctly.

14.   Probably many of us didnt witness or even heard such incidents because we had plenty of friends to talk and share our thoughts.

15.   

Nowadays because of growing instances of  manhandling , abduction etc. We dont allow them to go down and play on their own. However, we need to make some time for this. PLAY ,  having good FRIENDS and parental interaction with kids are critical.

16. One of the best way to deal with a child having any addiction like media, bad company, drugs etc is by diverting him or her and keeping them busy with tasks they are insterested in.

17. Building up their emotional intelligence and helping to manage their emotions is important.

18. DO NOT HESITATE to take professional help if in doubt or if needed. Do not take things for granted by ignoring.

Just wote this blog  to increase more awareness among we parents.

 Every emotional turmoil can be sorted through right intervention and communication.

Life is priceless.