Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Acceptance for personal growth


 How well are you at accepting your control over your circumstances, as well as your inability to control them? 

Are you able to cope with the constant flux of your life?


You can take control of your life when you can accept everything, including yourself and other people. In charge, it's easier to recognize how you can improve your own life. You'll find who you are when you learn to accept yourself as you are.




People around the world feel that when we act the same way at all times, we've established our identity. That's completely out of line with current events! Many good and bad influences have infiltrated our minds and bodies to the point where we now experience all of the above. In order for our personality to reflect these changes, we have to feel something new on a daily basis.




We've become numb to the horrors of the world around us.  Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, yet we must all admit that we have passed judgement on someone at some point. Changing our own conduct and mindset can have a positive impact on the people around us. A part of learning and acceptance is this. You can travel the world by becoming your own influence and letting other influences bring bad luck into the life of another individual.




You'll want to laugh more once you've accepted reality. You'll notice the humour in someone's conduct if they're making you nuts, for example. If you make a mistake and feed into their naivete, you might see the humour in it. You'll feel better about yourself if you can see the humour in everything. In order to improve yourself, you may inspire others to follow suit. It's been shown that actions speak louder than words when it comes to inspiring someone to make a difference.




You'll develop a new hunger for self-improvement as you mature, and that hunger will lead you to new discoveries. As your health improves, you'll realise that you need to exercise, eat healthily, and spend time with people who inspire you. You'll be motivated to work hard to achieve your goals as soon as you get a taste of this hunger.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Whats the science behind loosing an argument and why some people love arguing?

You’re in a tense conversation with a friend trying to defend your position on a political leader and his policies and start to feel yourself losing ground. Your voice gets louder. You talk over one of your colleagues and correct his point of view. He pushes back, so you go into overdrive to convince everyone you’re right. It feels like an out of body experience — and in many ways it is. In terms of its neurochemistry, your brain has been hijacked.
It is a common scenario especially with high voltage political campaigns around the world. However this can happen even in a simple conversation between couples regarding the child’s future which can convert into an ugly argument.
 By definition an argument is a series of statements typically used to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting a conclusion. So what goes in our brain that makes us lose the argument and the other win inspite of us knowing more relevant facts but we simply can’t win the argument. The fact that everyone believes that they are right is well known but the reason  some people win the argument has to do with changes in the brain which the other ones don’t have.
Corpus Callosum
We all know that there are two parts of the brain, the right and the left hemisphere. These hemisphere are joined by fibrous tract known as the corpus callosum .The thickness of the corpus callosum determines the cross connection between two sides of the brain. Any conversation requires the valid points to be remembered from the hippocampus (memory storage part of the brain) and the impulse is transferred to the thinking brain (Left parietal and frontal  lobe) and then to the right counterpart to form a meaningful sentence and finally to the speech center. This sounds very complicated but you can actually imagine the brain overworks when we get into an argument and hence we feel exhausted by the end of it.
 So people having thickened corpus callosum fibers tend to hasten this process and are able to come up with valid points supporting their point of view. Also they will end up remembering and speaking the right thing at the right time. Women surprisingly by birth have a thicker corpus callosum and the saying that you can never win a conversation with a woman holds true.
Stress
The other reason is stress and persons behavior which make him prone to get worked up. In situations of high stress, fear or distrust, the hormone and neurotransmitter cortisol floods the brain. Executive functions that help us with advanced thought processes like strategy, trust building, and compassion shut down. And the amygdala, our emotional and reactive brain, takes over.
The body makes a chemical choice about how best to protect itself — in this case from the shame and loss of power associated with being wrong — and as a result is unable to regulate its emotions or handle the gaps between expectations and reality. So we default to one of four responses: fight (keep arguing the point), flight (revert to, and hide behind, group consensus), freeze (disengage from the argument by shutting up) or appease (make nice with your adversary by simply agreeing with him).This another reason why we end up losing the argument.
The moment we shift from logical reasoning to emotional implosion we start losing the argument. This is the area where we can work upon and can be highly effective. Going further I will try to explain why some people end up in arguing on a regular basis.
The stress created in an argument prevents the honest and productive sharing of information and opinion. But, I can tell you that the fight response is by far the most damaging to any relationships. It is also, unfortunately, the most common. That’s partly due to another neurochemical process. 

When you argue and win your brain floods with different hormones: adrenaline and dopamine, which makes you feel good, dominant, even invincible. It’s a feeling any of us would want to replicate. So the next time we’re in a tense situation, we fight again. We get addicted to being right. So what goes on in our mind that we start losing the conversation and hence these series of cascade of neurochemicals flooding our mind.

Luckily, there’s another hormone that can feel just as good as adrenaline: oxytocin. It’s activated by human connection and it opens up the networks in our executive brain, or prefrontal cortex, further increasing our ability to trust and open ourselves to sharing. Your goal as a leader should be to spur the production of oxytocin in yourself and others, while avoiding (at least in the context of communication) those spikes of cortisol and adrenaline.

Here are a few exercises for you to do at work to help addiction to being right:
 Deciding Rules of engagement. If you’re heading into a conversation that could be a little difficult, start by outlining rules of engagement. For example, you might agree to give people extra time to explain their ideas and to listen without judgment. These practices will counteract the tendency to fall into harmful conversational patterns. Afterwards, consider see how you and the person  did and seek to do even better next time.
Empathetic listening. In one-on-one conversations, make a conscious effort to speak less and listen more. The more you learn about other peoples’ perspectives, the more likely you are to feel empathy for them. And when you do that for others, they’ll want to do it for you, creating a virtuous circle.
Speak one at a time. In situations when you know one person is likely to dominate a group, create an opportunity for everyone to speak. Ask all parties to identify who in the room has important information, perspectives, or ideas to share. List them and the areas they should speak about on a flip chart and use that as your agenda, opening the floor to different speakers, asking open-ended questions and taking notes.
 Arguments are a way of life. We live, we love, we argue, we make up. Sometimes though, arguments cause breakage - of relationships, families and people.The more we can understand about how we argue, the more deliberate we can be in responding to conflict in such a way as to preserve the relationship.





Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Life and growing up

     Life is such a funny chain of events with twists and turns which none of us can ever predict. We all seem so much in control but still very much fragile to the events that happen to us. Would  life still be so exciting if it was so predictable and we would have all achieved our targets. I can bet that most of the people who were considered highly talented by friends teachers and family end up in a very different way. Rarely any of them would agree that have ended  up in a completely  different  path then they would have ever imagined. This is what makes  man to actually take up the challenge  when in the bottom of their  hearts they all know that that life is a teacher who has its mood swings more than your wife and more naughty than your kids.....
Your destiny like many say is predefined and decided but still we all do not want to accept it. I can challenge that most  of us have accepted or will accept the fact only when we realise that we can not do anything about future .
The future like many learned men have said is always in dark.,it is we who have too throw light on the path and that is the sole motive of our life. If we are able to find the path we coin the word "success" otherwise we are only like a traveler running from pillar to post in search of the inner peace.
             So what changes from our childhood to our senility..... Is it our innocence or is it our ability to trust others.... I think most of us will agree the innocence with which we trust people  dies as we grow older and older. The ability to believe that all helping hand need not be trusted....I think that is what we humans  term the word experience...
Experience is nothing but our ability not to trust blindly what our fellow humans blindly want us to believe or do. The ability to see the world  in reality rather than the dream world is what growing up is all about....
Not everyone of is lucky that this phase of childhood to teenage is without any major harsh reality of life.......For the few unfortunate ones that lays the foundation stone for various psychological disorders for  in the latter stage. By a study in uk it was concluded  that childhood insults are one of the primary and strongest reasons for adult psychological disorders....
But still life is very beautiful as it has lots of surprises, challenges and above all emotions which makes this journey unique to each and every  indivisual. Inspite of none of us having a complete control on the chain of events we have absolute power to derive happiness and content from whatever good or bad it has to offer us

Munchin' Mania: Teen Food Frenzy!   🍔🥗     Hey there, Foodie Squaddies! 🌮 Let's chat about our favorite topic: FOOD! From pi...